how to write a letter for help.doc

Howtowritealetterforhelp?Leadin:Situation:MsJenkins:Ihavereceivedalotoflettersfrommystudentsrecently,butsomeofthelettersarenotproperlywrittenandI’msobusy.SoIwanttohavesomeofyouasmyassistantstohelpmepolishthelettersbeforeIdealwithit.TobeanassistantofMsJenkinsPolishthelettersfromherstudentsandlearnsomeskillsofagoodwritingFinishaletterforhelpbyyourselfbyusingtheskillsTask1:.Belowaretherequirementsoftheletters.PleasereaditcarefullyandmakesurewhatkindofletteritisbeforeyoureadsomelettersfromMsJenkins’students.(满分25分)假定你是李华,暑假想去一家外资公司兼职,已写好申请书和个人简历(resume)。给外教MsJenkins写信,请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。注意:1.词数100左右;2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。LetterA:Makeacomment（评论）onthisletter.DearMsJenkins,I’mLiHua.Iwillhaveatwo-monthsummerholiday.Duringthistime,IwillfinishmyhomeworkfirstasIamaskedandafterthat,Iwillstillhavesometimeleft.SoIwanttofindapart-timejobtobroadenmyhorizons.Ihavejustcompletedmyapplicationandresume.ButIamnotconfidentinmyEnglish,soIdesireyourhelpverymuch.Canyoureadmyapplicationandresumecarefullyandcorrectthemifthereareanymistakes?I’dbeverygratefulifyoucouldhelpme.Thankyouforyourkindness.Yours,LiHuaTipstomakeacommentontheletter:Isthereanyunnecessaryinformation?Isthestructureofthepassageclear?Tipstowritealetterforhelp:________________________________________________________________________Clearstructure（threeparagraphs）LetterB:Trytopolish(优化)theletter.DearMsJenkins,【1】IamLiHua.Iamastudentandnowstudyinyourclass.【2】Duringthesummerholidays,Iwanttogetajob.I’dlikeyoutohelpme.【3】Iwanttogotodoapart-timejobinaforeigncompany.Ihavealreadywrittenanapplicationandaresume.【4】Ihopethatyou'llcorrecttheirmistakesandformat.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yours,LiHua本文基本上涵盖了所有要点,但是词汇贫乏,内容缺乏细节。得9分。可进行如下优化:【1】开头缺乏问候语,且此处为两个短句,缺乏连贯性。改为:Howareyoudoing?IamLiHua,__________________________________（运用同位语，现在分词做伴随状语）【2】处语气比较生硬。改为:_________________________（我写信请求你的帮助）Duringthesummerholidays,Idliketogetajob.___________________________（你能帮我这个忙吗？）这样上下文更加连贯、语气较为委婉、礼貌得体。【3】处前后句之间没有过渡性词语,表达平淡,改为______________________________