高考英语 考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作外教旁批写作 13 试题.doc

安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作（十四）林宏的笔友莉莉今年夏天将来沪旅游。林宏去信表示欢迎并准备去机场迎接。还告诉她上海有不少值得游玩的地方他将陪同参观旅游。(用书信体写)学生习作·外教批改Dearlily：1Lily2I’mverygladthatyou’ll_have_a_tripyouarecoming3toShanghaithissummer.Ican’twaittoseemeet4youattheairportandshowyouaroundShanghai.AsweallknowShanghaiisthebiggestcityinChina.EspeciallyIntheserecentyears5manygreatchangeshavetakenplaceinShanghai.Sheisaseaofwhich_absorbs6differentculturesandcustomsand_develops_her_own_spiritsyethasdevelopedherownveryuniqueidentity.JinmaoTowerisoneofShanghai’smostwell­knownsymbols.Youcan’t7reallyshouldn’tmissachancetovisitit.We_can_have8ThereisagoodviewofShanghaifromthe88thfloorin_theTower9.OnJanuary1sttheShanghai’sNewYearconcertby_which_Shanghai_welcomes_the_new_year10washeldinanew11greatnewstructuretheShanghaiArtsCenter.12It’slocatedinPudongandlooks13justlikeabeautifulbutterfly.Intheeveningthecolourfullightsonitsroofwillshine14with_the_music_playing15asthemusicplays.Ithinkyou’lllikeit.Andin16duringyour7_dayseven­day17journeyvisitIhopeyou’llhaveaspecialdayat_last.We’llwhenwevisittheYuGardenwheretheShanghai’straditionalcustomsandculturecanbeseen.Thefoodthereisveryreally18dilicoiusdelicious.Hope_you’ll_come_soon.19Ican’twaittotakeyouaroundand_have_a_good_time_inShanghai.Yourssinecerly20sincerelyLinHong旁批1．标点符号使用不当。应该用逗号。现在一般商业信件中除了信的主体之外都省去标点。2．人名的首字母一定要大写。3．谈论将来的安排时应该用现在进行时态不要用will。4．用这个词更准确。5．你在谈论最近几年发生的变化所以应该用inrecentyears。原句Especiallyintheseyears表达很别扭。6．absorb是个很好的词。遗憾的是它用在这句话里不合适。absorb的意思是“吸收(液体、气体等)”而海洋(thesea)不会吸收任何东西它是液体液体是被别的东西所吸收的如：Thespongeclothquicklyabsorbedthespilledjuice.(海绵布很快就将溢出的果汁吸干了。)7．给出建议时用can’t不合适应该用shouldn’t。8．这个表达很别扭。参见改写后的句子。9．不用再提读者已经明白的事。10．原句太累赘。参见改写后的句子。11．几个形容词修饰名词时要遵循严格的顺序不能随意改变位置。12．专有名词的第一个字母要大写。13．单词遗漏。look可以用来描述我们对所看到东西的印象。它的用法是：look＋形容词；looklike＋名词；lookasif/asthough＋从句。14．用一般现