英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译.docx

英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译Awomanwalksuptoalittleoldmanrockinginachaironhisporch(门廊).Icouldn'thelpnoticinghowhappyyoulook,shesays.What'syoursecretforalong,happylife?Ismokethreepacksaday,drinkacaseofwhiskeyaweek,eatfattyfoodsandnever,everexercise.Wow,that'samazing,saysthewoman.Howoldareyou?Twenty-six.一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，那女士说。你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。哦，真神奇，女士说。你高寿?二十六。英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译：Grandpawillpaythebill爷爷给我付账Walkinguptoadepartmentstore'sfabric(织物，布)counter,theprettygirlsaid,"Iwouldliketobuythismaterialforanewdress.Howmuchdoesitcost?""Onlyonekissperyard,"repliedthemaleclerkwithasmirk(假笑，傻笑)."That'sfine,"saidthegirl."I'lltaketenyards."Withexpectationandanticipationwrittenalloverhisface,theclerkquicklymeasuredoutthecloth,wrappeditup,thenteasingly(故意使人烦恼地)helditout.Thegirlsnappedupthepackage,pointedtotheoldgeezer(老家伙)standingbesideher,andsmiled,"Grandpawillpaythebill."一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱?”“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”带着期待的表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。”英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译：IknowIcouldcountonyou我知道你会帮我Smithgoestoseehisbossinthefrontoffice."Boss,"hesays:"we'redoingsomeheavyhouse-cleaningathometomorrow,andmywifeneedsmetohelpwiththeattic(阁楼)andthegarage.""We'reshort-handed,Smith."thebossreplies."Ican'tgiveyouthedayoff.""Thanks,boss,"saysSmith,"IknowIcouldcountonyou!"史密斯去找他的老板。“老板，我们家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。”“可我们很缺人，史密斯。”老板答道，“我不可能放你的假。”“谢谢，老板。”史密斯说，“我就知道你会帮我。”英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译：PrepareYourself自己做好准备Astoryaroundcampushasitthatastudentoncesentatelegramtohisparentsreading:"Mom-flunked(不及格，失败)allcourses.Kickedoutofschool.PreparePop."Twodayslaterhereceivedaresponse:"Popprepared.Prepareyourself."校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈，我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”英语幽默笑话小短文带翻译：MoreIntelligentinDreams梦中更聪明Whenastudentfailedtosolveamathprobleminclass,heexpressedhisregrettohisteacher."Iremembersolvingtheprobleminmydreamlastnight,butforthetimebeingI'veforgottenit.Whatcanthatmean?""Itmeansthat