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-老师说的主要内容应该着重在陋习及其批判,但论文内容很大篇幅写的是瑶族婚礼的过程,而且还重复。例如定情就是歌声不断,订婚就是棉故搭桥,婚礼就是拜堂仪式。为什么要这么着重?你题目是瑶族婚俗的特点吗?批判瑶族婚俗之陋习就是简单说一下婚礼不重要的不需要批判的就一语带过,重点挑几个重要的陋习说这种陋习的弊端在哪阐述观点加以论证观点不够犀利就像“忽视女性心理”那段就应该写怀孕之前住自己家怀孕了才可以住到丈夫家就应该想到如果女性结婚不怀孕这样就在自己娘家住没有生育能力的话丈夫就会不要她无疑对女性造成很大伤害观点一定要犀利、这种应该着重写的地方反而不重视,为什么?论文的中文摘要老师说、那根本就不叫摘要批判婚俗陋习就应该以陋习为主、加以个人观点和批判。个人观点要明确。论文中(一)定情段落第一句瑶族的婚礼并不是很传统你个人观点是传统还是不传统写的是论文就是要把观点确定下来让人信服。文章“女大当婚,男大当嫁”段落,弊端到底在什么地方?为什么不可以男大当嫁、女大当婚???写的几乎全是优点。要说明这种做法的不好之处在哪。“两边走”的形式完全的正确值得鼓励的。(一)过于自由恋爱段落内容和文章标题不符。一面之缘忽视品行。什么品行,忽视之后的结果是什么。婚姻标准算是什么。引言部分。最后一句,“弊端与陋习的对比”弊端和陋习怎么对比??“并带有批判性的对着这些陋习进行揭露”语句不通。文章多多语病,语句不连贯。(三)忽视女性心理段落中。实际上,在瑶族的婚姻中女方父母不是绝对不知道,这句话是什么意思?结语中,人们采取了多方面努力,什么努力?总之,文章观点有前后矛盾的地方,重点应该放在陋习及其批判上,前面结婚程序和特点又重复之感,而且并不是本文重点,应该删去或者略写。批判陋习时论证不能证明观点。希望写作态度认真,注重格式,标点,不要犯语病。渤海大学文理学院学术论文(设计)题目批判瑶族婚俗之陋习完成人姓名王媛系别文法系专业汉语言文学班级2009级1班指导教师万金平完成日期2012年9月目录中文摘要和关键词···············································································1引言···································································································1一、奇特的瑶族婚俗的形式··································································1(一)定情······························································································2(二)订婚······························································································2(三)婚礼······························································································2二、瑶族婚俗的特点·············································································3(一)自始至终歌声不断···········································································3(二)“棉故”搭桥···········································································