最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话大全.docx

最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话大全

最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：你纳税了吗?AnervoustaxpayerwasunhappilyconversingwiththeIRSTaxauditorwhohadcometoreviewhisrecords.一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。Atonepointtheauditorexclaimed,"Mr.Carelton,wefeelitisagreatprivilegetobeallowedtoliveandworkintheUSA.审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，Asacitizenyouhaveanobligationtopaytaxes,andweexpectyoutoeagerlypaythemwithasmile"而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”"Thankgoodness"returnedMr.Carelton,withagiantgrinonhisface,"Ithoughtyouweregoingtowantmetopaywithcash."“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：交通事故Amanwasdrivingtoworkwhenatruckranastopsign...hithiscarbroadside,andknockedhimcold.有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。Passerbyspulledhimfromthewreckandrevivedhim.路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。Hebeganaterrificstruggleandhadtobetranquilizedbythemedics.刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。Later,whenhewascalm,theyaskedhimwhyhestruggledso.过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，Hesaid,"Iremembertheimpact,thennothing.他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，Iwokeuponaconcreteslabinfrontofahuge,flashing'Shell'sign.Andsomebodywasstandinginfrontofthe'S.'当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个s。”最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：机长的录音Thisisyourcaptainspeaking.Onbehalfofmycrew...这是你们机长的声音。I'dliketowelcomeyouaboardBritishAirwaysflight602fromNewYorktoLondon.请允许我代表全体工作人员，欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。Wearecurrentlyflyingataheightof35,000feetmidwayacrosstheAtlantic.我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。"Ifyoulookoutofthewindowsonthestarboardsideoftheaircraft,youwillobservethatboththestarboardenginesareonfire."如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去，你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。Ifyoulookoutofthewindowsontheportside,youwillobservethattheportwinghasfallenoff.如果你从左边往外看，你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。"IfyoulookdowntowardstheAtlanticOcean,youwillseealittleyellowliferaftwiththreepeopleinittowavingatyou.”如果你俯视下面的大西洋，那么你会看到一艘黄色的救生筏，上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。That'sme,thecopilot,andoneoftheairstewardesses.Thisisarecording.那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：相亲Aguygetssetuponablinddateandhetakesheroutfordinnertoaveryexpensiverestauranttomakeagoodimpression.一个小伙子被