英语小笑话带翻译爆笑大全.docx

英语小笑话带翻译爆笑大全爆笑英语小笑话带翻译大全(一)Anolderladygetsundressedandstartstogetintothebathtub.Shegetsabouthalfwayintothetubandthinks,"WasIgettingintothetuborgettingout?”一个上了年纪的女人脱了衣服准备去洗澡。她刚把一只脚迈进浴缸就想:我是打算进去呢?还是正要出去?Shecallsout,"Bernice!WasIgettingintothebathtuborgettingout?"她大声喊:“伯尼斯!我这是正要去洗澡还是打算要出来呢?”Bernicesays,"WellIdon’tknow.I'11havetocomeupandlook.”Bernicestartswalkingupthestairstothebathroom,getshalfwayupandthinkstoherself,“WasIgoingupthestairsordown?"Shecallsout"Sally!WasIgoingupordownthestairs?”伯尼斯说:“我不知道，我这就上去看看。”伯尼斯开始往楼上的浴室走，走到一半时想到:我这是要上楼呢还是下楼?她大喊:“莎莉!我这是要上楼呢还是要下楼呢?”Sally,whoisjustbeingwithBernicedowninthelivingroomcallsback,“HowshouldIknow?”andthinkstoherself,“I'mgladI’mnotlosingmymindliketheotherpeopleinthishouse.”刚还和伯尼斯在楼下客厅里的莎莉喊:“我怎么知道?”她自己想:我真的很高兴我不像这个屋子里的其它人一样没记性。(二)CarlsonwaschargedwithstealingaMercedesBenz,andafteralongtrial,thejuryacquittedhim.LaterthatdayCarlsoncamebacktothejudgewhohadpresidedatthehearing.卡尔森被指控盗窃一辆奔驰轿车，经过长时间的审讯，陪审团将他无罪释放。之后，卡尔森找到了听证会上主持的法官。“Yourhonor,”hesaid,“Iwanttogetoutawarrantforthatdirtylawyerofmine.”“法官大人，”他说，“我想申请一张逮捕令抓捕那个肮脏的律师。”“Why?”askedthejudge,“Hewonyouracquittal.Whatdoyouwanttohavehimarrestedfor?”“为什么?”法官问，“他让你赢得了无罪释放。难道他有什么罪吗?”“Well，yourhonor,”repliedCarlson,“Ididn'thavethemoneytopayhisfee,sohewentandtookthecarIstole.”“是的，法官大人，”卡尔森回答，“我没有钱付我的律师费，他就把我那辆偷来的车开走了。”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译欣赏AnAmericantouristwasridinginataxiinIsrael.Asthetaxiapproachedaredlight,thetouristwasshockedtoseethedriverdrivestraightthroughwithoutevenslowingdown.Surprisedashewas,hedidn’tsayanything,feelinghimselfa"guest"andnotwantingtomakewaves.一个美国游客在以色列打了一辆出租车。使这个美国游客震惊的是，当出租车开到红灯底下的时候，司机根本没有减速就直着冲了过去。虽然他很吃惊，但他什么也没说。他觉得自己是个游客不应该找麻烦。Thetripcontinuedwithouteventuntilthenextintersection.Thistimethelightwasgreenand，totheAmerican'sdismay,thecabdriverbroughtthevehicletoagrindinghalt.Unabletocontainhisastonishment,heturnstothedriver:"Listen,”hesays,“whenyouwentthroughtheredlight,Ididn'tsayanything.But,why,inheaven’sname，areyoustoppingatagreenlight?!”一切都很顺利，直到下一个十字路口。这回是绿灯，可让美国